- Identify an issue that many people are discussing.
- Tie it to an anecdote that will make clear that the issue is really about yourself.
- Develop an ordinary, reasonable proposition related to the issue.
- Follow the proposition to the the point of absurdity.
- Wallow in the absurdity for several paragraphs.
- Revision phase 1: go back and replace half of the adjectives with obscenities.
- Revision phase 2: replace the other half of the adjectives with random phrases lifted from folk expressions.
- Mašala! You have written it.