Instructions: How to write a Vedrana Rudan column

1. Identify an issue that many people are discussing.
2. Tie it to an anecdote that will make clear that the issue is really about yourself.
3. Develop an ordinary, reasonable proposition related to the issue.
4. Follow the proposition to the the point of absurdity.
5. Wallow in the absurdity for several paragraphs.
6. Revision phase 1: go back and replace half of the adjectives with obscenities.
7. Revision phase 2: replace the other half of the adjectives with random phrases lifted from folk expressions.
8. Mašala! You have written it.